Expectations

This past week, at the start of my ninth month of pregnancy, I took my first prenatal class. It was a free, virtual session offered by my provider, where a counselor at a Postpartum Mood Disorder clinic discussed postpartum expectations, including information on different mood disorders like PPD (depression) anxiety, PTSD, etc. While I agree that it is important to be educated about mood disorders, along with their appearance in a woman's postnatal season, I don't agree that these disorders are the norm, or even that they should be mentioned as "to be expected". It's definitely important to know what symptoms and feelings to look for after giving birth, and if they escalate, when to reach out for support and help. Unfortunately, this class was taught with an underlying tone to expect these mood disorders, and it was possibly one of the most depressing lectures I ever attended! 

When talking about what to expect when leaving the hospital with a newborn, the instructor of the class said: you'll be tired, moody and have to take care of the demands of the baby. Hm... Even as a first-time mom-to-be, I know I'll be tired and have a newborn to attend to. I know the baby will cry, eat, poop, sleep on cycle. I know it will be a life-changing event, that there will be a period of adjustment, and that there will be a learning curve. But moodiness (regardless of what hormones might do) is not my portion nor my expectation. Fear, anxiety or depression are not my expectations. While listening to the class together with my husband, we were baffled and wondered together, how in the world do people live without God!? 

As a follower of Jesus, the Prince of Peace, our portion is peace, peace and MORE PEACE. Our burden is to hold on to grace and more grace! I know that depression and anxiety are not strangers within the Church, and just because we believe in Jesus doesn't make us immune to the troubles of this world. I believe that all feelings are valid and also gifts from the Lord; they help us to name what is going on inside of us, and may be indicators of what is attacking us from the outside. They are weapons of defense, when we know how to keep them under obedience to the Truth. We are loved, comforted and perfectly accepted by a gracious and compassionate Father in Heaven. Because Jesus "took on flesh and moved into the neighborhood," He can understand everything we go through.  

What I'm looking forward to the most in this season of firsts as a mom, co-parent with my husband, and co-shepherd with the Lord over our little one, is the partnership with His Spirit in learning new things. I look forward to the birthing process, to meeting with the educator of "life experience" and to gaining wisdom in living through it. My expectations are for good, and to be honest, for easy. Even though parenting is not easy, along with losing sleep, learning how to care for a newborn, and disciplining a child, I have expectations for ease. The practice of carrying an easy yoke and a light burden take time, patience, and repetition, but that is what the Lord promised us. We come to Him; He gives us an easy load to carry.

Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Put My yoke upon your shoulders—it might appear heavy at first, but it is perfectly fitted to your curves. Learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble of heart. When you are yoked to Me, your weary souls will find rest. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.

(Matthew 11:28-30)

In the Message Translation, Jesus invites us to "learn the unforced rhythms of grace." How beautiful is that!? For many, many years, I didn't know how to do this. I am reminded constantly that I have been taught, through lots of grace and patience from my Creator, how to do this. With all of our expectations, met and unmet, realistic or a little bit far-fetched, we must come to Jesus. It's not with pride that I wonder how people live without God, but with humility and in recognition of how totally dependent upon Him I have become over the years... with more room to grow!

Through years of learning, I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the patient friends and mentors who have watched and helped me. I'm grateful for those with greater wisdom than me, who see and pull out my gifts and talents and support me on the journey of following. I'm grateful for the outrageous faith of others, who beckon me that there's more to get out of life and more to abandon. When we abandon our will, we get His. His will is full of joy! His will is full of goodness, grace and peace. His will is full of the BEST- better than we could muster up on our own. 

After being thrown a virtual baby shower by the most generous friend and sister in the Lord, and then going on a little "baby moon" trip with my husband the following weekend, I feel so FULL of that grace. I am filled with the best love, support, generosity and kindness a mom-to-be could have. I'm grateful to learn from medical perspectives things that they have seen in other moms after giving birth and the transition into motherhood, or adding another member to their family. I'm grateful for bold and brave women who have overcome these postpartum mood disorders, because I do know a few. And I'm grateful to look forward with expectation to better things than I could ever ask, think or imagine as I walk with God.

If you've experienced any postpartum mood disorder, or someone close to you has, and you've read up to here, I say to you with love: Don't be ashamed! There is support, love, comfort and healing for everything you've gone through. There is hope, answers, redemption, and payback for the hardships, through the lovingkindness of the Lord. There is freedom and forgiveness available for you. Don't be afraid. Reach out for help. My prayer is that in your reaching out, in your seeking and asking, you will be helped in miraculous and unfathomable ways by God Himself! He is for you. His favor shines upon you. He is just a thought away.

My challenge to you, for whatever is going on in your life, is to let your expectations be for that which is good, easy, and even impossible except by the miraculous. God is working miracles every day! Let's expect them!